The closer our big move gets, the more I’m able to scratch off my to-do lists. And the more I scratch off my to-do lists the more I realize just how real this move actually is.
That probably sounds weird but you have to understand that, in my mind, the move (and by proxy all of the big changes that are coming with it) have been kept safely at a distance on the other end of a long list of other things that had to happen before we hit the road on Sunday. As long as I had this seemingly insurmountable line-up of tasks to complete first, I didn’t really have to face reality any time soon.
Except now the move is literally just days away. My final grades have been submitted. I’ve completed a 34 page document outlining the basic daily roles and responsibilities of my job. We’ve started packing and, somehow, I’m getting to the end of my goodbyes.
And holy damn, do I ever hate goodbyes.
But as hard as they’ve been, getting to say goodbye has inadvertently lead to something amazing.
Ever since I went public a week and a half ago about about my upcoming move to Jasper (the place, not the dog. Don’t make this weird), I’ve been overwhelmed by the amount of people coming forward to wish me well. From people I know well to those I haven’t spoken to in ages to people I expected strong reactions from and people I didn’t think would care; from quick but thoughtful messages to unexpectedly heart-wrenching send-offs, you’ve all taken me by complete surprise.
But before you go chalking this post up to an elaborate humblebrag, you need to hear me out (because it’s about to get worse before it gets better). This whole time I’ve been sitting here absolutely dumbfounded by the love I’ve been receiving from you all. I cannot fathom what I’ve done to deserve all of the kind words, loving support, and even the thoughtful gifts (A former student I worked with on a work-study project gave me a Simba toy because he knew I like Disney. Liz wrote me a beautiful, tear-jerking blog post. The Quinte Women’s Respite Commission gave me a handmade quilt that they all signed. I was told to wrap myself in it whenever I miss them and need a hug and I’m getting choked up just thinking about it, oh god MY FEELINGS, YOU GUYS. MY FEELINGS!)
I mean, there’s the undeniable fact that you’re all just really and truly good people. I never doubted that for a second.
But… do you ever find yourself on the receiving end of something great and questioned just how much you deserved it?
The love and support I’ve received from everyone has me feeling overwhelmed with gratitude. My key take away – aside from the fact that I’m very lucky and I’m going to miss you all like CRAZY – is that I want to live the rest of my life feeling worthy of your high praise. I never want to people I care about to have any doubt how much they matter to me.
Basically you, my dear friends, have made me want to be a better person.
Thank you for your love and thank you for your kindness. Thank you for making this big life change easier and more difficult all at the same time. Knowing you all has made me a better person, and your support has inspired me to always try to be worthy of your faith in me.
I just thought you should know.
That’s enough of that for one blog post. Here, have have a picture of Jasper and I showing off our teeth.